President Higgins Woken From Liberating Havana From Capitalists
Sources within the Phoenix Park have confirmed that President Higgins was woken early this morning in the midst of leading the liberation of Havana from capitalists.
The President, who was woken by his gardener using a strimmer, was delivering a rousing speech to the Cuban masses at Plaza de la Revolucion at the time.
Having woken with a start, the President gingerly asked Mrs. Higgins if she had enjoyed the rapturous reception they had received while entering Havana in convoy.
"Yes, absolutely Michael...the Cuban people were truly joyful to be free of the capitalist dictatorship", replied Mrs. Higgins wearily.
At the time of writing, President Higgins was considering discharging the presidential gardener of his duties in the name of the revolution.