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Dissident Republicans Demand Dermot Bannon Renovates Safe House

Dissident Republicans Demand Dermot Bannon Renovates Safe House

A dissident republican group today demanded that Dermot Bannon immediately commit to renovating their safe house. 

"No national liberation movement can be expected to free this nation from the chains of British bondage while using this drab, colourless utility room for public statements", declared the group's spokesperson.

Acknowledging that the entire safe house required an overhaul to let in natural light and reveal the building's true character, the spokesperson insisted that Bannon be temporarily seconded to an unspecified location in Belfast. "We are planning a large press conference in June with the entire organisation so this room must be able to comfortably accommodate the seven of us", continued the discerningly dressed dissident. 

RTE have refused to be drawn on speculation that the Room to Improve host may be temporarily released from his contract with the broadcaster.

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